Who are your MVP's?
While some agree that a good rule of thumb is to have one groomsman and one corresponding bridesmaid for every 50 guests, it’s definitely not a mathematical formula. Loosely, all it means is that a large wedding party fits in better at a large, formal wedding. So if you’re planning a small, intimate gathering, you should opt for a smaller bridal party. Bridal parties can range anywhere from a single maid or matron of honor to more than a dozen attendants. Think about how many guests you’re expecting and the formality of the event. We both have large families and coincidentally I also have a large bridal party (I'm talking 7 bridesmaids, 1 junior bridesmaid, and 3 flowergirls)!
But, more isn’t always merrier. The more bridesmaids you have, the greater the potential for complications. You’ll need to get more people to agree on a dress, decide on a shower date, and coordinate all the other joys of bridal party-dom. If you’re on a limited budget, think about who has to pay for all those bridesmaids bouquets. That’s right—you.
Blood is thicker than water. If you’re close to your sister and future sister-in-law, the thought of not including them in your wedding party, probably never even occurred to you. I am having both my sisters, all three of Nates sisters, and my cousin... phew, thats a lot of family!
No, you don’t have to return the invitation. Just because someone asked you to be in her wedding doesn’t mean that you must have her in yours. This isn’t a dinner party invitation that you need to reciprocate. Don’t ask the college roommate you haven’t spoken to in years just to return the favor. Weddings are no time for quid pro quo.
You can have two maids of honor (I will!). There’s no reason or rule that says you can’t. If these are the two women you feel closest to (or if you have two sisters like me), of course you want them both by your side on your wedding day. Just be aware that they may squabble over honor attendant duties: who gets to hold the ring, the bouquet, stand right next to you, sign the license, and so on. Just tell them both what you specifically want each to do.
Life will go on if you have uneven numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids. There’s no law of symmetry when in comes to wedding parties—no planned out Lord-of-the-Dance routine that requires everyone to have a partner. If you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, remember that, as cliché as it sounds, any true friend will understand whatever decision you ultimately make. As it stands right now, I have 7 bridesmaids while Nate is only sure about 6 groomsmen.
In my case, I think of it as the girls that are standing up there by side are not only my friends but they will be Aunts to my children, they will make an effort to stay in touch and be connected (I call them "forever friends"), but most of all they will be there to support my marriage through the good and the bad. By their presence they are not only saying that they love and want to be there for you on your big day but also they are making their own commitment to be the cheerleaders for your marriage. You need to remember that this is your wedding day, so you need to think about what is important to you and make sure you will not have any regrets with the girls you choose.
How did you pick your bridal party? Did you ask them any special way? Was it a tough decision?
